Three more days and I’ll be leaving this land once again.
For some reason, this thought dives into my mind while I zone out. I’m not paying any attention to things that are happening around me: the noises and voices from the group call muffled in my headphones, the flashing blinding computer screen stuck in a game of madness, and the music and chatter of my family trapped in the background.
Heaps of frustration. It feels like my heart is only hanging onto the thinnest string, about to fall at any moment as it contracts and expands more and more rapidly. Taking a deep breath, probably twisting my eyebrow into a knot as well, I try to drag my focus back to the screen. My mouse is shivering as if it is afraid of my wrong decisions; it is not the computer’s disfunction, but my own hand not being able to control what’s happening. My friends didn’t notice my mistakes for that while, laughing and directing each other as a team at the same time.
I’m going to leave them.
Some of them have already gone to school to hand in their homework in summer break; Chinese schools are usually strict and start earlier than September 1st (the official back-to-school day). The mornings are even harder to wander through since there is nothing to do, and the long daylight time of summer is making the last bit of freedom bitter and dreadful. They are starting to talk about some homework that I cannot understand, and getting jealous of my late start of school and that I have such little of a burden to bear.
Concerns and complaints filled up my vision. Somehow my ears catch one particular phrase from the noisy headphones. “I probably won’t be able to play this game or even go on any social media anymore… because of the exam,” said one of the voices. That is the moment when I finally realize that we have three more days and it will truly be our last times together. Studying and pressure from parents and teachers is going to seperate us from our happiness.
I feel like nothing is going to stay the same.
By: Ring Sakura