NO!

By: Richard

People still have not figured out my secret pleasure yet.

This morning, I asked Jennifer if she wanted to grab a drink together after school. Before asking, I messed up my hair, slopped some ketchup onto my shirt, and made sure I smelled like a garbage truck. It seemed to work. I got the answer I wanted. Later, during math class, I asked Mr Weinberg if I could take my math test home to work on. Even though I was sure I would get the answer I wanted, I still couldn’t take any chances. My tie wasn’t on properly, I reeked like raw fish, and I made sure his apple had worms in it. I got the answer I wanted. This is what I do: ask people the most outrageous questions to get the answer I want. People must think I’m insane.

At dinner, mom asked me: “Sam, I got a call from school today.” I stopped chewing. “The teachers are concerned about you. They say you ask them a lot of outrageous questions. Sam… Is there anything I can do to help? Are you okay?”

“Can you buy me a car?”

“NO!”

I smiled.