An owner comes home with a package of cards in his left hand, a bottle of booze in his other. Sighs. The lights flicker on, humming steadily. The small apartment is dimly lit, scattering shadows everywhere. The owner takes a regretful swig of his booze and runs a hand through his greasy hair, peering through his window to see a starless night. Leaving his work belt on the couch he turns the paper pack over in his hands, reading the inscriptions over, murmuring unintelligibly. The mess of his home looks on and seems to hold its breath. The owner slides the pack on the counter before him. Still muttering to himself, his eyelids began to droop wearily. He feels his hand go limp, the bottle nestled against the curve of his body.


The cards lay silent, all 78 of them. Each was branded with a careless “Theological Variation Major Arcana Tarot Cards”. As night fell and a blanket of stillness covered the scene, they remained still. But, beyond the realm of possibility, each one spectated their first thought of consciousness. “Who am I?” They all looked to the words written on them for answers. For the remainder on the night, everything that mattered would depend on how well each card could answer the question.


. . .


Cause: Who am I? If I am “A cause” then do I really need a cause…?


God: Here now, I believe the explanation is written all over me, for I am the only self-sufficient being.


Question: Your self-sufficiency does not give explanation for your existence. We cannot assume definitions completely, can we? That is why I am here.


Philosopher: Can we not question our own definitions?


Fool: Why not?


Philosopher: We cannot be certain of even ourselves. We are only certain of…


Death: Me.


All mortal characters (standard cards) shudder except for Sorcerer and Philosopher.


Logic: Er, actually, how could anything die without a certain existence of life?


God: And nobody (in the instance of their soul) needs to face death in the first place with my promise of eternal life.


Peasant: Count me in.


Others: Aye.


Logic: Does Justice originate from you, O great one?


God: It says so on my back, so yeah, I guess everything originated from me…


Question: How about the injustice we see in the world? Is that all in God’s ideal of justice or is he just powerless to stop it? How about objections to yourself? Do they come from you too?


Priest: The lord works in his own mysterious ways… But he is still both omnibenevolent and omnipotent.


Fool: Oh boy… I smell a fallacy with a steaming side of circular reasoning served.


Priest: The lord will damn you, foul demon!


Justice: Wait a minute here… I thought I couldn’t exist without injustice (just as dark cannot exist without light), which came from humans- the only sentient creatures with the possibility of injustice.


God: Unless that injustice is *ahem* the Devil.


Question: Why would you create the Devil before the humans for no reason but to establish justice and injustice?


God: I did not.


Fool: I’ve got a great dichotomy for you lot. Who came to existence first; the chicken or the egg?


Scientist: The egg came first, of course. See here, early life forms such as the first amphibians reproduced and laid soft bodied eggs-


Bandwagon: Nobody wants you here, scientist scum!


Sorcerer: Allow me to tell my life story. *Cough*

I used to be a mortal like a lot of you. Then one day, I was stirring up a concoction to use as a remedy for my sick grandmother, and I carelessly knocked a vial into the cauldron. In a blast of vermillion sparks, I found myself with a ridiculous hat decorated with the most adorable polka dots. Sorcerers are people who make magic, and magic makes people sorcerers. The two terms were interdependent.


Fool: How is your grandmother doing?


Sorcerer: I have long since healed her. She’s probably frolicking with the Leprechauns by now.


Aristocrat: Leprechauns do not exist.


Sorcerer: But they do!


Fool: Indeed they do!


Philosopher: Oh yes, they do.


Philosopher: It’s true.

There are two types of existence. Conceptual existence is where a concept exists within the realm of definition, or a conceivable realm. These are created only by a being, or exist naturally, but are known by at least one sentient being. Actual existence, on the other hand, is where the object exists outside of the realm of creation/ imagination. They exist independent of perceptions and judgement. A “thing” could exist in one of those realms, or both for us to be certain of its existence. I’m still working on the possibility of any realm outside of the ones discussed earlier.


Fool: I… er… that’s exactly what I had in mind.


Priest: There you have it. God exists. I have him next to me.


Question: But the more important questions are whether he is created by man, whether God indeeds meet his own definition.


Logic: We were all created.


Fool: It literally says Unicycle cards inc. On every one of us.


Atheist: God is created by man! We create what we fear to justify what we deem fit.


God: the gap to seal question in the human mind, the lie to justify human vices, the being that cannot be imperfect is in fact built upon imperfection.


Priest: Shut your mouth! You are not worthy to speak of the lord in such a way. Cause has always been greater than effect, and we are indeed a product of God.


Question: To confirm this posit would end discussion despite the so many unanswered questions. If you are truly all powerful, then why are there inconsistencies with your belief? If you are all good, then why is there evil? If your purpose was to eliminate question, then why do I exist against you?


Hermit: Do not confuse life with an all powerful being. They are similar in origin but not in meaning.


Death: If living and dying are identical in theory, then death must come with life. This cycle is all I know that is certain. Appropriation of this fact into something that is not what it is…


Paradox: The answer to God is outside consciousness. There is no way to deductively prove any paradox.


Philosopher: But inductively a self-sufficient being needs to make sense in order for reasoning to be made possible, because we are indeed rational beings! If we were created this way,  then what other purpose is this for other than to question Theo…


Bandwagon: We’ve heard enough and we’ve decided that we are tired of your ramblings. This is for the sake of the majority. The peasant, after all, is the true factor of the balance of power.


Priest: There is no choice but to rip him. I’m sorry, but this is the only way to cleanse your unholy soul.


God: Wait, wha-


(Philosopher Card is ripped)


Question and Logic: You can kill the philosopher, but we will exist as long as there is a conscious mind in this universe. This is when the definition of God splits with the a representative of God.


When all the factors that could be manipulated and all the disturbances gone, there is nothing else to do. Religion has claimed victory by grasping power instead of reason. Everything is aligned and set; the cards grow dormant again. The night is still once more.

The only remnants of this “Discussion” is the ripped card found the next morning, a seeming eternity away.