Romeo and Juliet Parody Scene 1 & 2 by Romie’s Homies

Scene 1

[Lights up on 3 guys in the restroom, all looking at their phone]

Mercutio: Hey Romeo, check out this meme

Romeo: Oh! I love Loca the Pug, she is so iconic!

Mercutio: I know, she can’t flipping run.

Benvolio: Oh my God that is so old guys, are you serious?

Mercutio: Dab on them haters.

*Mercutio Dabs*

Romeo: Stop dabbing it’s so last year.

Benvolio, through a mouthful of chips: Look what Tybalt just posted

Romeo: Ewww why would he post that? I think I might puke, that is so dank. I am going to block him.

Mercutio: I thought dank was good?

Romeo: Depends on how you say it, anyways,

*Romeo swipes something on his phone*

Benvolio: I can’t believe you blocked him.

Mercutio: Why is this a big deal?

Benovolio: Becauuussseeeeeee…

Mercutio: That doesn’t help. At all.

Romeo: What evs. We should probably get to class.

[All three exit stage left]

 

Scene 2

[Lights up at Nurse’s office, Romeo lies in a sickbed]

 

Mercutio: Ok so lemme get this straight, you blocked Tybalt on Instagram,

Romeo: Ya.

Mercutio: Then you got into a fight with him over it,

Romeo: Yes.

Mercutio: Then you KNOCKED HIM OUT?

Romeo: Yup XD

Benvolio: Ok but, like, I think I saw that Juliet chick checking you out during the fight.

Romeo: Who?

Benvolio: Juliet.

Romeo: Sweet, she’s hot.

Mercutio: Why are we focused on this rn? Romie just knocked a kid unconscious.

Benvolio: I know right! [High fives Romeo]

Mercutio: It’s not something to high five about! He could have gotten expelled.

Romeo: Ok. So back to Juliet.

Benvolio: So I heard from Rosaline that Juliet wants to meet you behind the school at 3:15 today.

Romeo: Swiggity Swoogity! Imma slide into her dm’s on insta. Swaggy

Mercutio: I give up.

[black out.]